Apparently Glenn Beck needs someone who cooks like I do. In an article in The Blaze, he indicated that his doctors think he has multiple food sensitivities. To cope he wants to hire a chef to follow him everywhere and prepare his gluten-free, dairy-free, corn-free, soy-free, bean-free, nut-free and sugar-free meals. I could probably do the job. Of course there might still be a job available that involves being attacked by hyenas instead which I would probably enjoy more. So I need to make sure that isn’t true before I apply.
While I genuinely get nauseous thinking about spending my days following Glenn around, I do think that he puts a pretty accurate face on the most common symptoms of food sensitivity. He went gray very young, which seems to be common in the world of the food sensitive. He is high strung and moody. He seems to take everything too seriously. He comes across as slightly, but not dangerously, nutty. FYI for anyone who thinks I am picking on him because of his beliefs, we also know that Keith Olbermann had similar issues with gluten (Olbermann is a celiac) and again the same behavioral symptoms. I am not talking about the opinions, just the moodiness.
People are always looking for bloodwork or gastrointestinal symptoms to show the evidence of an issue, yet it now appears that the most common symptoms are psychiatric. That weird edgy tone he has, that irritation with everyone who cannot see things his way…those are symptoms. Just like Olbermann, there is this odd, depressed rigidity.
So Glenn, I wish you well on your recovery. I am pretty sure I will like you better once you have eaten this way for a year. Given my own political beliefs I think it would be best if I was not your private chef since I cannot be held responsible for being alone with you and a bunch of knives each day after day. I am from New Jersey. There might be an unfortunate accident.
That said, when you do get a chef, feel free to refer him to this site to get some recipes. Get yourself some egg replacer, and don’t try to do it all at once. It is hard, but you can do it and I look forward to meeting the new you.
Maybe once you mellow you can get Keith to try it…I think he is just avoiding gluten.
FYI, in case anyone else wants to travel the world with Glenn, here is the original article.
